I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
