This girl is more easily done than said...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
