My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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