Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
