Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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