Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
