When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
