Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
