I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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