That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
