Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
