Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want a musical about memes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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