you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
