Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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