I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
