Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize