this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
