i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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