lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
