I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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