My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
