I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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