remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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