if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
