Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
