you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
