It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
