No stitches, just platelets and will power
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize