I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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