Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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