I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
