im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
