Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
