there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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