I need help removing her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
