these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
