My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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