So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
