Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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