As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
