you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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