So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
