I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
In America we eat man semen.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
