3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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