I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize