The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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