you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize