I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm going to jail i love you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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