fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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