I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
