I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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