definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
