i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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