hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Come on in and take your pants off
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