Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
