Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
