Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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