She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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