His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
