Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The adults are the big ones right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize