Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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