some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
A+ Viking dick
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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