from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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