things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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