That's when you crack a 10am beer
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
17 year olds will be the death of me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Alive.
So much puke
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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