Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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