No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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