So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
