you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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