well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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