Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
