i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
