she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
