Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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