Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
