Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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