google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
