So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
